Regularity Report Vol 4

Amazingly the vietnamese diet and the bowels are in complete agreement with each other and getting along famously.

Inputs (looking kinda boring):

Carbs: Bread, rice, noodles, spring rolls, fantastic prawn crackers, soft rice crepes
Meat: beef, pork, chicken - did get some bacon!
Fish: shrimp, squid, prawns, crab, unknown vietnamese white fish
Fruit: mango, banana, pineapple, does coconut in a curry count?
Veg: eggplant, chilis, the usual stir fry mixed, lots of vietnamese mint, basil and cilantro (is this veg?)
Dairy: mango lassis, mango shakes, vache qui rit cheese triangles
Drink: beer, water, orange juice, coke, soups

Outputs

Achieved the most fantastic nirvana - regularity without the need for loo roll which is not always present.

Frequency: *****
Density: *****
Gaseosity: *****
Wipeability: ******

Toilet Review
Hoi An Hotel: ***
Multiple Hoi An restaurants and shops: **
Overnight bus: *
Hue Hotel: ***
Multiple Hue restaurants and shops: *
Hue Imperial Palace: **

Days 15-18 Hoi An - part 1 +addition

Knowing we were coming to Hoi An, which is famous for its tailors, I had a big decision to make. Do I get a frock of the sort favoured by the Vietnamese party set?

Or perhaps a traditional Ao Dai, elegant yet sexy? Hmmm, lovely but hard to imagine being able to wear with my lifestyle.

In the end, I chose to have my dress copied in silk, and succumbed to the lure of silk tops and trousers. Martin, who had dissed the whole idea, got religion (so to speak), and started to imagine silk shirts made to measure, then ties and pocket squares in brocade, then, oh my goodness, you mean a suit of wool/cashmere blend is only $70? 'Well, I will need a new one when I get back and I hate shopping so why not get it here and now?' Then Jennifer Louise decided that having a suit might be a good idea, as there will be some sort of work required upon return home, and one that might warrant a vaguely professional appearance.

There are endless small tailoring outfits, each aggressively targeting travellers as they pass. Fabrics are much the same in each, as are general designs, although if you want something - anything - you can get it. It's mostly silks (Vietnamese, Chinese and Thai), suiting materials and cottons suitable for shirts, buyt there are a few rather garish cottons and polyesters too.

When you've decided upon the shop that feels right, you choose or draw your style of choice, choose (or bring in, or go online and point it out) you fabric of choice and discuss any other elements you'd like, then your measurements are taken and you are sent away, after being told to come back about 10 the next morning. You do, and your outfit is complete! Should any adjustments be needed you come back at about 7pm and there it is.

Shoes too - you can have anything made or copied - perhaps a Manolo knockoff with your own name stitched along the side? Or perhaps a pair of these babies - combat boots in Chinese silk brocade!

Of course we trust and hope we will see our purchases again, as we have consigned them to the Vietnamese postal service, not really wanting to carry around wool suits for the next few months.

Additon - If you are silly enough to order a high-waisted, slim fitting pencil skirt, it may need so many adjustments that you get a moto ride with the proprietess to the seamstresses' house to get it sorted out, then a moto trip back to eat lunch and wait for it to appear all complete - now that's service!